Don’t have money?
You feel you don’t have money
Of course you feel that.
Otherwise you’d have a wonderful relationship with it, wouldn’t you?
This site and my service is about helping you improve your relationship with money so you can start making money. It’s obviously a paid service but you don’t have the money to pay for it. That’s perfectly understandable, and very very common.
Now, I’m absolutely not going to pressure you to buy anything you can’t afford, but let’s explore this for a moment.
What does the thought “I don’t have money” or “I can’t afford this” actually mean? Not just about this service. About anything that you would really like to have or do and feel you can’t afford.
A few years ago, as I was working through my own money trauma I really wanted an apron. You know, one of the pretty flowery ones you see on Amazon. It was $27. And I felt I couldn’t afford it.
“I don’t have money” is a place of reflection
A place for you to pause and reflect what do you mean by that. This is tough place to be and you might already feel the urge to flip the page, but if you hold on to the discomfort, you might learn something new about yourself.
When we struggle with money every expense can be painful, and push our most sensitive buttons.
“I don’t have money” can be fear of commitment
Fear of taking yourself seriously, doing the thing you know will make a difference and change you and that can be scary. Take a moment to feel into that fear. Connecting with our feeling is key in my work and my life and I will alway encourage you to listen to your emotions. They direct you on what else is needing attention and healing.
“I don’t have money” can be your old identity
It might not even be true anymore. But you are holding this identity because you believe it’s protecting you from being clueless, reckless or overspending. This identity control your choices and how you go forward in life. You can’t choose from empowered place of what you really need, and only from a place of what you believe you can afford? This place limits you and is part of your glass ceiling.
“I don’t have money” can be a trust issue
You might not trust yourself to do the work that is needed or to be able to change. You might not trust in financial system. You might not trust me or any other therapist or consultant offering you help. The root cause of broken trust is often childhood trauma.
When we grow up in an unsafe environment we can’t develop healthy trust in ourselves and others. This is catch 22. you have to heal it to see it, but you can’t trust anyone or yourself to do so. If this is you- start developing self trust in baby steps.
“I don’t have money” can be your comfort zone
You might not be ready for a change yet. It’s familiar, it’s safe, it’s not fun, but you know this place so well. It might be what you knew all your life.
Changing that is a big thing and you should’t take it lightly.
Your brain will do anything to keep you safe and away from challenging emotions. Because as a child, those feeling were too much, it was survival mechanism to shut them down. But today, you have the choice to break free from the confines of the comfort zone that keeps you small and the glass ceiling tall.
It might be that you actually don’t have money for groceries
In that case I urge you to not take it as “this is how it is” and do something to change your circumstances. Make a plan to end this poverty cycle and stand on your own two feet. I can help you build this plan but you will need to find someone that will invest in you, someone that care for you to pay for a few sessions.
You may feel confused whether you have enough for this
If you feel confused or overwhelmed of all the thing you do or want to do/buy. If you are not sure you should take more schooling, or a business help, go for a month to Mexico what will make you feel better? what is the right thing for you? This can be is a priority and clarity issue. But, it can also be that you made a financial mistake in the past that still hunt you and you don’t trust yourself with big decisions anymore (trauma). I can teach you to listen to your subconscious, connect to your values and build a road map for decisions making that will give you clarity.
You feel don’t have enough - of course you don’t!
You probably feel you don’t have enough money, resources, time, work, clients, self care… Of course you don’t!
People who have money trauma, who struggle with money, who describe their feelings as “I’m not good with money” never have enough of it. The question is it time to break this cycle, rewire your brain to think differently and start living the live you want?
Is it the right time to unlock those pattern that hold you back and break free from those old cultural and behavioural constrains?
If not now, when would be the right time?
Maybe it’s not you but your partner saying this
Sometime when we are in co dependent relationship we can’t hear our own voice clearly, we are disconnected of our needs because we are too afraid of what our partner will think and say.
Oh… I’ve been there… I know.
It’s very confusing to make a clear differentiation what is your and what is theirs. It can be scary to do something that will cause a big reaction or conflict. We can’t change that in one session unfortunately. But I bet that this relationship is keeping you just small enough to feel “OK” but not fully alive or fulfilled.
And when you are ready to face it - I’ll be here to walk you through that.
“It’s too expensive”
When we have money trauma everything can feels too expensive. Trauma experience is too much, too fast, too soon. It can cause you to freeze, numb, shut down and want to hide and avoid making any decision or it can cause you to react with overload, stress, be angry or raged and direct the anger outside on the systems, the government and even on me.
If that is a pattern you’d like to overcome, I can help with that.
A 2-minute exercise
Here’s a quick exercise that can give you some clarity.
Take a piece of paper and split it into two parts:
I have money for
- rent
- groceries
- emergency car fix
- my kids’ activities
- etc.
I don’t have money for
- self care
- new clothes
- personal development
- time off
- etc.
Fill it out the best you can.
Now look at that list for a moment.
This list should reflect your true priorities and values.
Does it?
If it does you’re in a good spot with your relationship with money.
If it doesn’t, something is off and we can work on it together.